My annual leave has come to an end and I am back at work tomorrow. The day was spent getting ready for work and mentally trying to tune myself back into the routine of my normal daily routine.
I am extremely proud of myself that I was able to turn off completely after I left work in December and was able to take naps on some afternoons and thoroughly enjoyed my holiday especially when it comes to mental relaxation. In the past I was unable to switch off and my health suffered in the end.
I got up early this morning and after the usual grooming and breakfast I set off to the hairdresser. They informed me that although my appointment had been move from one stylist to another because the one was booked off sick etc that any 3 stylist were available and I could choose which one I wanted to cut my hair.
This put me in a tremendously awkward spot. I decided to go with M because she cut my hair for years, then she got married had a baby and two months after she stopped breastfeeding her baby she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was then instructed to stay away from work for a year – although she owns the hairdressing business one of the other ladies had to take charge of the business while she had her chemo and that lady has been cutting my hair ever since but she has very little experience and it shows.
When I looked at M she looked frightened for a split second and I was unsure if I had done the right thing. I wanted her to do my hair because she did it the best. M has a dark olive skin but for a moment she looked pale and frightened. Suddenly M took a skip towards her sets of scissors and brushes and said to me that today was her first day back at work although she had come in at intervals to stand in for the other lady.
The assistant had washed my hair and M was proudly showing everyone a pair of scissors she got for Christmas. I was wrapped up in a cape and settled in the chair when M started combing my hair. She combed the long strands up into the air several times and just stared at it. Then she said “your hair is so beautiful and healthy”. It is then that I realised how I took my ugly old hair for granted. M having gone through chemo appreciating the condition of my hair made me realise how I take my awful job, dull hair and health for granted.
M divided my hair into sections and again commented on the condition of my hair. M was starting to get excited like someone starting a new job and she said to me “I am so ready to do this”. M asked me how I wanted my hair cut and being very particular and difficult as usual, I explained in exact detail how I wanted it. M then commented on the excellent condition of my hair again and asked me which brand of shampoo I use. I immediately struck a blank and I could see the green bottle with the herb leaf design on it in my mind but I could not get the name to register on my tongue. These blanks and panic attacks make me so mad they make me lose confidence in myself and make me feel so inadequate.
In a few minutes my hair was fabulously cut and I knew that I had made the right choice. M could not stop chatting saying how wonderful it was to be back at work and able to see old familiar faces again. I was struck once again by how much I take what I have for granted.