I hate going to the mall on a Saturday, it is hectic and a mad rush. The only time I go out on a Saturday is when my mom needs to go somewhere.
So two Saturdays ago, it was just after payday, yes that beautiful time of the month when the pay comes in and it must all be spent withing 24 hours.
I pleaded with her that we must make an early start to avoid the crowds and the traffic, but she tut tutted along and was in no particular hurry. There was still plenty of parking when we arrived.
We weren’t long and went to the places she needed to go and within 40 minutes the parking area was completely full. When we headed back to the car I said to her “it’s time to get out of here”.
When we reached the car an inconsiderate low class witch and her brood where squeezing out of their car. Her car door firmly pressed against our new car. I gave her one of my blood curdling looks and she made as if she did not see us.
I’m a huge woman. There is no other way to describe me. I tried, but I could not get the door open wide enough to get even a foot into the car. I had to get into the passenger seat, remove my shoes and jiggle my body over to the driver’s seat. 
While getting a rude poke in the rear from the hand brake I smiled at the car guard who was looking at me as if he was ready to phone the men in white coats to come and get me. Once my bum was in the seat I still had my left leg over on the passenger side, with a very unladylike maneuver I lifted up my knee almost bashing my nose in trying to get my toes away from the console and steering my left leg towards the pedals.
I wish I had this with me you low class witch.
parking turtle