Category: South Africa

Inconsiderate low class witch.

I hate going to the mall on a Saturday, it is hectic and a mad rush. The only time I go out on a Saturday is when my mom needs to go somewhere.
So two Saturdays ago, it was just after payday, yes that beautiful time of the month when the pay comes in and it must all be spent withing 24 hours.
I pleaded with her that we must make an early start to avoid the crowds and the traffic, but she tut tutted along and was in no particular hurry. There was still plenty of parking when we arrived.
We weren’t long and went to the places she needed to go and within 40 minutes the parking area was completely full. When we headed back to the car I said to her “it’s time to get out of here”.
When we reached the car an inconsiderate low class witch and her brood where squeezing out of their car. Her car door firmly pressed against our new car. I gave her one of my blood curdling looks and she made as if she did not see us.
I’m a huge woman. There is no other way to describe me. I tried, but I could not get the door open wide enough to get even a foot into the car. I had to get into the passenger seat, remove my shoes and jiggle my body over to the driver’s seat. 
While getting a rude poke in the rear from the hand brake I smiled at the car guard who was looking at me as if he was ready to phone the men in white coats to come and get me. Once my bum was in the seat I still had my left leg over on the passenger side, with a very unladylike maneuver I lifted up my knee almost bashing my nose in trying to get my toes away from the console and steering my left leg towards the pedals.
I wish I had this with me you low class witch.
parking turtle

Highest Paid Rugby Players

1. Dan Carter

– £1-million (R17.7-million) $1,538,891


The highest paid rugby player on the planet is New Zealand’s own Dan Carter. Carter is a rugby union player star whom currently plays for the Canterbury Crusaders and the New Zealand National Rugby Union Team (nicknamed “The All Blacks”).

Dan Carter has several rugby union high achievements including the world-record for test points at 1455, four Super Rugby titles with the Christchurch Crusaders, and being named International Rugby Board player of the year in 2005 and again in 2012. He holds an International Test record of 90 wins, 1 draw, and 11 losses; according to New Zealand’s official national team website.

Date of Birth: 5 March 1982
Birthplace: Southbridge, Canterbury, New Zealand
University: Ellesmere College Christchurch Boys High
Height: 178cm (5′ 10″)
Weight: 94kg (206 lbs)
Team: Racing Métro 92



Spring cleaning.

If we can find a suitable place, we plan on moving in the next 6 months. So this is the perfect time to throw out junk we haven’t used in the last 15 years. It feels like a couple of years ago that we moved into this house, can’t believe it has been 15 years.  
So I have been scratching in the deep dark corners and found some stuff to sell and stuff that went either straight to trash or we placed it on the pavement where passersby took them off our hands.
Here are two hair dryers, the white Sunbeam was a gift from my brother, he bought it from OK bazaars in the 1980’s and I used it at least once a week since then. Recently it started to sound funny and I decided to retire it.
hair dryers side by side
The blue Pifco hair dryer was given to my mother by her father in the 1960’s and although it still works we decided to retire it (in case its age made it unsafe to use). Apart from the fact that it weighs a ton and you need two hands to lift it.
hair dryers Pifco
 hair dryers Sunbeam
These below you can show your kids. Way back in the early 1980’s you could not look at a laptop screen while typing and correct your typos. Once you pressed that typewriter key the evidence of your typo stood boldly on a page for everyone to see. Your options … Tipp-ex which was gooey and you had to blow it dry and when you typed over it looked like you were replicating a hot wax stamp except it was a white spot that looked like you tried to plaster over your mistake, it was a terrible mess and in the end you would plain & simply start the document over.
We were so thrilled when Tipp-ex brought out correction paper. We thought it was the coolest invention. You positioned the typewriter head over the typo inserted the paper over the typo and retyped the correct letter and a white powder layer would cover the offending letter, you then backspaced and typed the correct letter.
tip-ex (2)
tip-ex (3)
The correction pencil was a horrible option if you could not afford Tipp-ex it left the paper rough and made the location of your typo more obvious.
tip-ex (5)
While we are on the topic of getting rid of stuff, I don’t know what happend to OLX but it seems as if no one is advertising there any more. If you are South African let me know where are people buying & selling online at the moment – we need to get rid of some junk.
gold line2

Corporate micro management.

First of all, thank you to all of you reading my updates on the corporate take over. Here is an update on recent events.
Elvis (his nickname) arrived at the end of 2013 and announce he was representing the corporation. He was moody, unapproachable and always stayed in his office and only ventured out for meetings if it involved a liquid lunch.
Out of the blue two months ago he got into a disagreement with the corporation. Basically he wanted them to pay him consultation fee – and they refused. So he walked out.
So the super team arrived from the corporation to whip us all into shape. Our days, as they put it, of being negligent and lazy were over.
They call it micro management. I, as you know, say it like it is. I spend my days now making photocopies and getting everything authorized signed & stamped in triplicate.
My main duty should be collecting money from outstanding debtors but no I spend my days doing admin and sleepless nights worrying about how behind I am with my work, which never happened to me in the past.
The worst part is the daily corporate meetings, the stale humour, the deadlines … one person is praised while another is berated.  
corporation meeting
gold line2

A plan to score free booze …


What Clive Naidoo has taught us all

“So, he records this police officer, and when she notices, she gives back far better than she was getting. The whole (rather long) video plays out as if Naidoo is reading from the book of ways not to behave when a police officer is giving you a ticket. These kinds of things: 

•    Encourage the officer to hurry up, because you are clearly terribly important and have better things to do than sit around and wait for her to write up your ticket. 
•    Remind her that you pay her salary. That should encourage her to be suitably deferential. 
•    Deny you committed any wrongdoing in the first place. That’s sure to get you off. 
•    Record the actions of the police officer with your phone. She won’t find that at all antagonistic. Promise.




Poisonous plants.

They are interesting and pretty but remember if they can harm humans they can harm pets as well.


Thank you for watching.



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